* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 21, and her name's Kathy.* Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."* My. They flogged and whipped me till they were satisfied with the shade of red my ass was. Next, they wrote on my sore ass and on my back before having me stand. On my chest they wrote CUM DUMP, SLUT and DEPOSIT CUM HERE. I did not know till I saw some pictures that they had written INSERT COCKS with arrows pointing at my asshole and a target on my back with the words AIM HERE.Master took my leash and led me out of the office with nothing on and walked me around the store so everyone there could see me. Then he led me to the theater making sure that everyone that was hanging around outside the booths could see me. Then he led me to the theater parading me around so those in there would see me. He took me to the center of the first row and had me crawl up on the seats with me straddling the arm rest and leaning over the back of the seats. He then ties my ankles to the arms of the seats, so I kept my ass open. Next, he came around then released my wrists from behind my back just to tie.
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